About Spirit, Mind and many other things...
Svetlana de Rohan Levashov
Part 1. Childhood. Vol. 1. Awakening
To me these Gods were kind protagonists of fairy-tales and looked like our parents – they could be kind and affectionate, but if necessary, they could to punish us severely when we misbehaved too much. They were a lot nearer to our heart than that incomprehensible and distant God which had His terrible death at men’s hands.
I would like to ask the faithful to try not to be indignant, on reading the lines which contain my thoughts of that time. It was then and I looked for my child's truth in Faith too, as well as in any other things. Therefore I can argue only about my views and concepts which I have now, and which will be expounded in this book later. And then it was a time of "persistent search", which did not come to me easily.
– You’re a strange girl... – The Sad one whispered thoughtfully.
– I am not strange, I am simply alive. But I live in two worlds – that of the living and the dead. And I can see things which many people, unfortunately, do not see. Probably, that is why nobody believes me. But everything would be much simpler, if people listened and reflected on it a little, even not believing. Well, I think that if it could happen one day, it would not be today. But I have to live with it exactly today...
– I am very sorry, dear... – The man whispered. – You know, there are a lot of people like me here. Thousands... Probably, you will find it interesting to talk to them. There are real heroes, not like me. There are many of them…
Suddenly I felt a burning desire to help to this sad and lonely man. However, I had no idea what I could do for him.
– Do you want us to create another world for you while you are here? – Stella asked unexpectedly.
It was a magnificent idea, and I became a little ashamed that it did not occur to me first. Stella was a wonderful little human being and somehow always found something pleasant that could bring joy to others.
– What do you mean "another world"? – The man was surprised.
– Here, look... – and suddenly bright and joyful light began to shine in his dark and sullen cave! – How would you like this kind of a home?
The eyes of our "sad" acquaintance lit with happiness. Perplexedly he looked around, understanding nothing of what had just happened here. Meanwhile his terrible and dark cave changed: now the sun shone brightly, luxuriant greenery exhaled pleasant aromas, the birds joyfully sang songs, and blossoming flowers smelled divine; the brook murmured, lively in its farthest corner, spilling drops of the purest and freshest crystal water...
– There! Do you like it? – Stella asked merrily.
The man was absolutely stunned by what he saw and could not say a word. He only looked at this beauty with his eyes wide open in which trembling drops of "happy" tears glittered like pure diamonds.
– My God, I have not seen the sun for so long! – He whispered. – Who are you, girl?
– I am just a human being, like you – dead. And she is, you know it already, alive. Sometimes we go for a walk here together and we help, if we can, of course.
It was obvious that the little girl was extremely satisfied with the produced effect and literally fidgeted to make it last longer...
– Do you truly like it? Do you want it to be always like this?
The man nodded, unable to pronounce a word.
I did not even try to imagine the happiness he was now experiencing considering the black horror in which he lived every day for so long!
– Thank you, dear... – The man whispered. – Tell me one thing – how can this last?
– Oh, it’s simple! Your world will be only here, in this cave, and nobody will see it except for you. And if you don’t leave, it will remain with you forever. Well, I will come to you to check it... My name is Stella.
– I don’t know what to say for such a gift... I don’t deserve it. It’s probably wrong... My name is Svetilo. Well, I have not brought much "light" yet. (Svetilo means "Luminary" – E.L.)
– Don’t worry; you will bring it some day! – It was clear that the little girl was very proud of what she’d done and almost burst with pleasure.
– Thank you, dear girls... – Svetilo sat, hanging his proud head, and suddenly began to cry like a child.
– What about others like him? – I whispered into Stella’s ear. – There are probably very many of them? What we shall do for them? It is not fair to help only one. Besides, who gave us the right to judge who deserves such help?
Stella’s face frowned at once...
– I don’t know... But I know that it is correct. If it was wrong, we could not do it. Different rules work here.
Suddenly it dawned upon me:
– Wait a moment. What about our Harold?! In fact he was a knight, so he killed too. How did he manage to stay "upstairs"?
– He paid for everything he had done. I asked him about it. He paid very dearly. – Stella answered in earnest, funnily wrinkling her little forehead.
– How did he pay? – I did not understand.
– With his spirit... – The little girl sadly whispered. – He gave part of his spirit for what he had done during his life-time. But he had a very highly-developed spirit; therefore, even on giving a part of it, he still was able to stay on the "highest floor". But very few can do it, only truly very highly developed spirits. Ordinary people lose too much and go much lower than they were at the beginning. Like Svetilo.
It was staggering. It means that on having done something bad on Earth, people lose a part of themselves (more correctly, part of their evolutional potential), and even then still must be in that terrible horrific place called "the low" astral world. Indeed, each has to pay for his errors too dearly.
– Well, we can go now, – Stella waved with her little hand and merrily twittered. – Good-bye, Svetilo! I shall visit you!
We set out and our new friend sat still, frozen from unexpected happiness, voraciously absorbing the warmth and beauty of the world which Stella created for him, like a dying man would absorb the life which suddenly came back to him...
– Yes, it’s correct, you were absolutely right! – I said thoughtfully.
Being in the most "iridescent" mood we made our way toward the mountains, when suddenly an enormous, thorny-sharp-clawed creature came up from the clouds and threw itself straight on us...
– Watch out! – Stella squealed, and I just had time to see two rows of razor sharp teeth, felt a strong blow in my back and fell head over heels onto the ground...
The creature flew right toward us, loudly clicking with its widely open sharp-toothed beak, and we sped along at top speed, splashing through loathesome mucous and mentally begging that this terrible "miracle of a bird" would be interested in something else. We felt that it moved much quicker than we did and we had no chance to break away from it. As ill luck would have it, there was not a single tree nearby or bushes or even stones to hide behind. There was only an ominous black rock in the distance.
– There! – Shouted Stella, pointing at it with her finger.
Suddenly another creature appeared right in front of us. It looked so scary that our blood ran cold. It appeared as if "straight out of air" and was truly horrific. Long wiry hair completely covered the enormous black hulk, making it look like a pot-bellied bear; only this "bear" had the height of a three-storey building. Two enormous bent horns "crowned" its rugged monstrous head and a terrible mouth was decorated with a couple of incredibly long tusks, sharp like knives; one would become weak at the knees just looking at them. Unexpectedly for us, the monster easily jumped and hooked the flying "ugly thing" on one of its enormous tusks... We froze, dumbfounded.
– Run!!! – Stella squealed. – Run while it’s "busy"!
We were ready to be off like a shot, as suddenly a thin voice sounded behind us:
– Girls, stop!!! Don’t run! Dean saved you. He is not an enemy!
We turned around and saw a tiny, very beautiful dark-eyed girl who... calmly stroked the monster! To say that we were surprised is to say almost nothing. It was unbelievable! Indeed, it was a day of surprises! The girl smiled in a friendly way, being absolutely not afraid of the hairy monster standing near her.
– Please, don’t be afraid of him. He is very kind. We saw that beastly Ovara was after you and decided to help. Dean was in time. Good boy!
The "good boy" began to purr which sounded like a light earthquake and, bending his head, licked the girl’s face.
– And what is an Ovara and why did it attack us? – I asked.
– It attacks everybody. It’s a predator, a very dangerous one. – The girl answered calmly. – May I ask you what you’re doing here, girls? You are not from here in fact?
– No, we are not. We simply went for a walk. But we have the same question for you – what do you do here?
– I visit my mother. – The child grew sad. – We died together, but for some reason she got here. And now I live here, but I don’t say it to her, because she would never agree to it. She thinks I just come to visit her...
– But would not it indeed be better if you just visit? It’s so awful here! – Stella flinched.
– I cannot leave her alone here. I look after her in order that nothing happens to her. And Dean is with me. He helps me.
I just could not believe it. This tiny brave little girl voluntarily left her beautiful and kind "floor" to live in this cold, terrible and alien world, protecting her mother, who obviously did something very wrong! I think that there wouldn’t be very many such brave and selfless people (even adults!) who would make up their mind to do anything similar... And then I thought – maybe she simply did not understand to what she was going to doom herself?!
– How long have you been here, girl, if it’s not a secret?
– I got here quite recently... – The dark-eyed child sadly answered, fingering a curl of her lovely black hair. – When I died I got into such a beautiful world! It was so kind and light! And then I saw that my mother was not with me and rushed to look for her. At first it was so terrible! I could not find her anywhere... And then I fell into this terrible world... And found her. I was so scared here... and so lonely... My mother ordered me to leave and even scolded. But I cannot leave her... And now I have a friend, my kind Dean, and I can live here somehow…
Her "kind friend" roared again, which gave us enormous "low astral" shivers. On pulling myself together, I tried to calm down a little and began to observe the hairy wonder. He felt at once that I paid attention to him and showed his terrible teeth. I jumped back.
– Don’t be afraid, please! It’s the way he smiles at you. – The girl "calmed" me down.
Well, one would learn how to run very quickly on seeing such a smile. – I thought.
– How did it happen that you became friends? – Stella asked.
– When I just came here, I was very scared, especially when the monsters, like the one that came for you, attacked. One day, when I almost died, Dean saved me from heaps of the terrible flying "birds". I was frightened of him too in the beginning, but then I understood what a golden heart he has. He is my best friend! I never had such friends, even when I lived on Earth.
– How could you get used to him so quickly? His appearance is not quite, let’s say, ordinary?
– I understood one very simple truth here, which I did not notice on Earth for some reason – appearance does not matter, if a person or creature has a kind heart... My mother was very handsome, but sometimes very wicked too, and then all her beauty disappeared somewhere. Although Dean looks frightful, he is always very kind and always protects me. I feel his goodness and am not afraid of anything. Besides one can easily get used to any appearance...
– Do you know that you will be here for a very long time, longer than people live on Earth? Do you really want to stay here?
– My mother is here. So, I must help her. And when she "goes" to live on Earth again, I will go too... to the place where there is much more good. The people are very strange in this frightful world – as if they don’t live at all. Why is it so? Do you know something about it?
– Who told you that your mother would go to live again? – Stella became interested.
– Dean, of course. He knows a lot. He has lived here for a very long time. Also he said that when we (my mother and I) live again, we will have different families and then I would not have this mother... That is why I want to be with her now.
– How do you talk to your Dean? – Stella asked. – And why you don’t wish to tell us your name?
It was true. We did not know her name yet and where she was from.
– My name was Maria. But does it really matter here?
– Of course! – Stella broke into laughter. – How do you think we shall socialise with you? When you go away, you will have a new name, but while you are here, you’ll have to live with the old one. Have you talked to someone here, girl Maria? – Stella asked, as usual jumping from subject to subject.
– Yes, I have. – The child pronounced uncertainly. – But they are so strange here and so unhappy. Why are they so unhappy?
– Do you think that this reality can make somebody happy? – I was surprised at her question. – It kills any hopes beforehand! How is it possible to be happy here?
– I don’t know. When I am with my mother, it seems to me that I could be happy here too. It’s true that it’s very scary here and she does not like it. When I said that I could stay with her, she shouted at me and said that I am her "brainless disaster". But I am not offended. I know that she is simply scared, as well as I am...
– Maybe, she just wanted to protect you from your "extreme" decision and make you come back to your "floor"? – Stella asked carefully trying not to offend the girl.
– No, of course not. But thank you for your kind words. Mother often called me quite unpleasant names even on Earth. But I know that it was not from malice. She was unhappy because I was born and often said that I ruined her life. But it was not my fault, right? I always tried to make her happy, but for some reason I failed. And I never knew my father. – Maria was very sad and her voice trembled as if she was on the verge of tears.
Stella and I exchanged glances and I was almost sure that the thoughts similar to mine visited her head. I already disliked the spoilt and selfish "mother" which instead of worrying about her daughter did not understand her heroic sacrifice and in addition very painfully offended her.
– But Dean says that I am good and make him very happy! – The girl chirped much merrier. – He wants to be my friend. Others who I met here are very cold and indifferent, and sometimes even wicked, especially those with monsters hooked on.
– Monsters – what? – We did not understand.
– Well, some spirits have terribly ugly monsters sitting on their backs which tell them what they must do. If they disobey, the monsters taunt them terribly. I tried to talk to these spirits, but the monsters did not allow me.
We understood absolutely nothing from this "explanation", but the fact that some astral creatures torture people could not remain "uninvestigated" by us, therefore we asked her at once, where we could see the surprising phenomenon.
– Everywhere! Especially near the "black mountain". There, behind the trees. Do you want us to go with you too?
– Of course, we’ll be very glad if you do! – Stella replied immediately, being terribly happy.
To tell the truth I did not relish the prospect of meeting again somebody "terrible and incomprehensible", especially being alone. But interest won over fear, and certainly, we would go there, even being a little bit afraid. But now, having such a protector as Dean with us, we went with greater enthusiasm.
In a very short while our eyes wide open in amazement saw the real Hell... The picture was reminiscent of Bosch’s paintings, a "mad" painter which once shocked the whole world with his art. Certainly, he was not mad, but simply a visionary, which for some reason could see only the low astral world. But one should give him his due – he depicted it excellently... I saw his painting in a book which I found in my dad’s library and still remember the terrible feeling which most of his paintings transmitted...
– It’s terrible! – The dumbfounded Stella whispered.
I could probably say that we saw a lot of things on the "floors", but even we were unable to imagine this in our most terrible nightmare! We found something absolutely unthinkable behind the "black rock". It looked like an enormous flat "caldron", gouged in the rock, at the bottom of which purple "lava" bubbled. The burning hot air "burst out" every now and then with strange flashing reddish bubbles from which scalding steam broke forth and its large drops fell on the soil or people. The heart-breaking screams were heard, but they grew silent at once, because the most revolting creatures I have ever seen in my life sat on the people’s backs and controlled the victims, with an air of satisfaction, paying no attention whatsoever to their sufferings.
Burning hot stones reddened under people’s bare feet; purple soil bubbled and "melted". The hot steam broke through enormous cracks and burned the feet of the human spirits, which, crying from pain went upwards, evaporating in a light puff of smoke. The wide and fiery red river ran through the middle of the "caldron". From time to time the disgusting monsters threw an exhausted spirit there, which caused a short splash of orange sparks, at once turned into a fluffy white cloud and disappeared... this time forever... It was a genuine Hell and both Stella and I were eager to leave this terrible place as quickly as possible.
– What shall we do? – Stella whispered, horrified. – Do you want to go down there? Can we really help them? Look, how many of them are!
We stood on the brink of the dark-brown precipice dried up with heat, observing the "medley" of pain, despair and violence at the bottom, inundated with horror, and felt so childlike and powerless that this time even my bellicose Stella totally agreed to loosen her ever enthusiastic "get-up-and-go" and was ready to dash away to her homely and safe upper "floor"...
I suddenly remembered that Maria had spoken to these cruelly punished people (whether it was fate or themselves).
– Tell us, please, how did you get down there? – Puzzled, I asked.
– Dean took me there. – Maria answered calmly, as if it went without saying.
– What have the poor people done to deserve this kind of place? – I asked.
– I think the matter is not in what they’ve done but in the fact that they were very strong and had a lot of life-force, which the monsters need because they "feed" on these poor people. – The child explained in a very adult way.
– What?! – We almost jumped. – It means that they simply "eat" them?
– Lamentably – yes... When we went there, I saw a pure silvery stream that comes out of these poor people and fills the monsters on their backs. And the latter at once revived and became extremely satisfied. Some human spirits found it very difficult to walk after that. It’s so terrible. And there is nothing we can do to help them. Dean says that there are too many of them even for him.
– Indeed. And we can hardly do anything too. – Stella whispered sadly.
It was very hard to simply turn and go away, but we perfectly understood that it was not in our power to help and could not just stand and calmly observe the terrible "spectacle". Therefore, on giving one last glance at this terrible Hell, we decided to go to another place. To say that my human pride was not hurt would be untrue, because I always disliked losing. But I also learned a long time ago to accept reality the way it is and not to complain about my helplessness, if to help somebody was beyond my strength.
– May I ask you, girls, where are you going? – Maria grew sad.
– I would like to go upstairs. Honestly speaking, I’ve had enough of the "ground floor" for today. I would like to see something more cheerful. – I replied and thought about Maria – poor girl – she has to stay here! And regrettably, we could not offer her any help, because it was her choice and her decision which only she could change…
Well-known whirlwinds of silver energies began to shimmer and "wrapped" us in the dense and fluffy "cocoon", and we easily and gracefully slipped "upstairs"...
– Gosh, how good is to be here! – Stella happily breathed out, coming "home" at last. – And how terrible it is "down" there! Poor people, how is it possible to become better, living in such a nightmare everyday?! Something is wrong here, don’t you think?
– Well, what would you offer to "correct"?
– Don’t laugh! We must think out something. I do not know yet – what. But I shall. – The girl declared, being absolutely serious.
I loved very much her adult serious attitude toward life and "iron" desire to find a positive way out of any situation. Having a shining sunny character, Stella, nevertheless, could be an incredibly strong and brave little human being who would never surrender and always defend justice or friends, dear to her heart, with might and main.
– Well, let’s go for a walk and get some fresh air, because I have still not recovered from the horror which we’ve just seen. I cannot even breathe easily, not to mention those awful visions. – I suggested to my wonderful friend.
We again "slid" gently within the silver-"dense" silence, being totally relaxed, enjoying the peace and tenderness of this wonderful "floor", and I still thought of brave little Maria who we willy-nilly left in that terribly joyless and dangerous world and who had only her frightful hairy friend and hope that her "blind" but dearly beloved mother could at last see how strongly she loved her and wanted to make her happy for the period of time that they had before their new embodiment on Earth...
– Wow! You just look at that. How beautiful! – Stella’s merry voice pulled me out of my sad thoughts.
I saw an enormous merry golden ball which glimmered inside and a beautiful young lady dressed in a very bright multicoloured dress in it. She was sitting in the brightly blooming glade and was hardly distinguishable from the background of unbelievable bells of some fantastic flowers which vigorously blazed with all colours of the rainbow. She had very long fair hair the colour of ripe wheat which fell downward in heavy waves, shrouding her from head to toe like a golden cloak. Deep blue friendly eyes looked straight at us, as if inviting us to start the conversation.
– Hello! I hope we won’t bother you. – I welcomed the stranger, not knowing what to begin with and, as usual, slightly feeling shy.
– And hello to you, Light One. – The young lady smiled.
– Why do you call me that? – I was very surprised.
– I don’t know. – The stranger answered affectionately. – It simply suits you! I am Isolda. But tell me, what is your name?
– It’s Svetlana. – I answered, being slightly confused.
– See! I’ve guessed! What do you do here, Svetlana? And who is your pretty friend? (Svetlana means Bearing Light – E.L.)
– We just went for a walk. This is Stella; she is my friend. Are you the Isolda who had her Tristan? – I took heart to ask.
The lady’s eyes widened in surprise as she obviously did not expect that somebody would know her in this world...
– How do you know it, girl? – She whispered.
– I’ve read a book about you. I liked it so much! – I exclaimed enthusiastically. – You loved each other so much, and then you died. I was so sorry about it! And where is Tristan? Is he really no longer with you?
– No, dear, he is so far away. I have been looking for him for so long a time! And when I finally found him, it appeared that we cannot be together here too. I cannot go where he is. – Isolda answered sadly.
And suddenly a simple vision came to me – he was in the low astral world, apparently for some "sins" he had committed. And certainly she could go there; simply she did not know how to do it or doubted that she could.
– I can show you how you can go there, if you want, of course. You may see him whenever you want, with the only condition – you should be very careful.
– You can you go there! – She was very surprised.
– And you too.
– I am sorry, Isolda. Tell me, please, why is your world so bright? – Stella was unable to retain her curiosity.
– It always was cold and misty where I lived, and it was quite different where I was born: the sun always shone brightly, the flowers smelled sweet and the snow was only in winter and even then it was sunny. I missed my country so much that I still fail to take delight in it to my heart's content. Indeed, my name sounds quite cold, but it’s because when I was a child, I got lost and was found on ice. That is why they called Isolda. ("Iso" can be tranlated from Russian as "from or of", "lda" – accusative case for "liod" – "ice" – E.L.)
– Wow! That’s true – "of ice"! I would never guess! – I stared at her, dumbfounded.
– It’s nothing. Take Tristan, for example. He never had a name and lived all his life nameless. – Isolda smiled.
– But what about "Tristan"?
– Oh, come on, dear! It just means "one who owns three camps", – Isolde laughed. – His family died when he was little and that is why he was not given a proper name when the time came – there was nobody to do it.
– But why do you explain all of it in my language? In fact it’s in Russian!
– But we are Russians, more precisely – were then. – She corrected herself. – Now who knows who we will be...
– How is that – Russians? – I was completely confused.
– Well, not quite, but in your terms we were Russians. There were many more of us then, and everything was much more diverse – our land, language and life... It was a long time ago...
– But the book says that you were Irish and Scottish?! Or is it a lie again?
– Why a lie? No not at all. It’s just that my father arrived from the "warm" Rus to become the ruler of the "island" camp, because it was seized with long and bloody wars and nobody could put an end to them, and he was a skilful warrior, and therefore they asked him to come. But I always missed "my" Rus... It was always too cold for me on those islands.
– May I ask you, how did you truly die? Of course, only if it does not hurt you to tell me. Different books describe it differently, and I would like to know very much how it really happened...
– I gave his body to the sea – it was their custom then... and went home... Only I never got there... I did not have enough forces. I wanted so much to see the sun, but could not... or may be Tristan did not "let me go"...
– But what about those books which say that you died together or that you killed yourself?
– I don’t know, Light One. It was not me who wrote them... And people always like to tell tales, especially beautiful ones, and they embellish them in order that they touch hearts more deeply... I died a natural death after many years. It was forbidden to commit suicide.
– Probably, it was very sad for you to be so far away from home.
– Well, what can I say? At first it was even interesting while my mother was alive. And when she died, the whole world grew dark for me. I was too small then. I never loved my father. War was the only thing that made sense of his life. He appreciated me only because he could barter something on marrying me off. He was a warrior to the very marrow of his bones and died as such. I always longed for coming back home, even in my dreams, but... it never happened.
– Do you want us to take you to Tristan? We’ll show you how to do it at first, and then you can do it on your own. It’s easy. – I offered, hoping with all my heart that she would agree.
I wanted very much to see this legend "fully", if the occasion arose anyway, and although I felt a little ashamed, I decided not to listen to my strongly indignant "inner voice" this time and to try to convince Isolda somehow to go for a "walk" on the ground "floor" and find her Tristan.
I truly loved this "cold" northern legend. It conquered my heart from the very minute I began to read it. The happiness in it was so fleeting and the sadness so infinite! In fact, as Isolda said, they did add a lot of things there, because it really touched one’s heart, but maybe everything happened exactly this way? Who could know it? In fact those who saw all of it died a long time ago. That is why I wanted to take advantage of this, certainly, the only opportunity to know what happened in reality...
Isolda sat quietly, thinking about something, as if not daring to take advantage of the only chance, which occurred so unexpectedly, and meet the one from whom fate had separated her for so long...
– I do not know... Maybe it’s all unnecessary... Maybe it’s better to leave the things as they are? – Isolda whispered confusedly. – It hurts too much... I fear to make a mistake…
I was incredibly surprised at her fear! It was the first time since the day I began to speak to the dead that someone refused to talk or meet those who once loved so strongly and tragically...
– Please, let’s go! I know that later you will regret not going! We’ll simply show you how to do it, and if you decide not to do it again, you will not go there anymore. But you must have a choice. A person must have the right to choose. Do you agree?
At last she nodded:
– Well, let’s go, Light One. You are right. I must not hide behind the "back of the impossible". It’s cowardice. And nobody likes cowards. And I never was one of them...
I showed my protective shield to her and to my greatest surprise, she made hers very easily. I was very happy, because it greatly facilitated our "journey".
– Well, are you ready? – Stella smiled merrily to cheer her up.
We dived into the shining haze and in a few short seconds "swam" along the silver path of the astral world...
– It’s so beautiful here. – Isolda whispered. – But I saw him in another place which was not so light.
– It’s here too, only a little bit lower. – I calmed her down. – You’ll see, we’ll find him very soon.
We "slipped" slightly deeper and I was ready to see the usual "terribly-oppressive" reality of the low astral plane, when, to my surprise, we saw nothing of the kind. We found ourselves in a place, pleasant enough, but with very sullen and sad scenery. Heavy and muddy waves washed the stony shore of the navy blue sea. Idly "pursuing" one another, they "bumped" against the shore and unwillingly and slowly returned, pulling the grey sand and shallow, black and brilliant pebbles with them. A majestic, enormous and dark-green mountain the top of which bashfully hid behind the grey swollen clouds was seen far off. The sky was heavy, but not intimidating, totally covered with grey clouds. Small bushes of some unknown plants grew scraggily on the shore. The landscape was sullen, but "normal" enough. In any case, it was reminiscent of those which one can see on Earth on a rainy, very gloomy day. It did not produce the "blatant horror" which we had seen in other places on this "floor".
A lonely man sat ashore of this "heavy" dark sea, deeply in thought. He seemed to be quite young and handsome enough, but was very sad and paid no attention to us.
– My Brave Falcon! Tristanushka! – Isolda whispered with a catch in her voice.
She had stiffened and was pale as death. Stella began to worry about her and touched her hand, but the young lady saw and heard nothing around her and only looked at her beloved Tristan without taking her eyes off him. It seemed that she wanted to absorb every detail of his face... every hair... the curve of his lips... the heat of his brown eyes... to save all this in her heart, worn out with suffering, forever and maybe even to carry it into her next "earthly" life.
– My light Ldinushka... My sun... Please, leave, don’t torment me... – Tristan looked at her fearfully, unwilling to believe that it was a reality, and covered his face with his hands, thus shutting himself off from the painful "apparition", and repeated: – Leave me, my joy... Please, leave now...
Unable to look at this heart-breaking scene anymore, Stella and I decided to interfere.
– I beg your pardon, Tristan, but it’s not a ghost, it’s your Isolda! She is real. – Stella pronounced affectionately. – You’d better accept her, don’t hurt her anymore...
– Ldinushka, is it really you? How many times I saw you here like this and how many times I lost you! You always disappeared, as soon as I tried to speak to you. – He cautiously stretched his hands toward her, as if being afraid to frighten her off, and she, forgetting everything in the world, threw herself at him and froze, as if she wanted to stay like this, merging with him into one, never to part.
I watched this meeting with increasing anxiety and thought of how we could help these two people who had suffered a lot and now were infinitely happy to be together the remaining time before their next embodiment...
– Oh, don’t think about it now! They’ve just met! – Stella read my thoughts. – And then we’ll work something out...
They stood, snuggling up to each other, being afraid that something could suddenly separate them or that this wonderful vision would disappear in a flash and everything would be the same as it had been before...
– The world is so empty without you, my Ldinushka, so dark!
Only now I noticed that Isolda looked different! Probably that bright "sunny" dress was intended only for her alone, just as the blooming field... And now she had met her Tristan... I must say that wearing her white dress embroidered with a red pattern, she looked absolutely stunning! She looked like a young bride.
– They neither danced in a wedding circle for us, my brave falcon, nor did they offer their felicitations with a nuptial toast. They gave me to a stranger, but I always was your wife. I was destined to be yours... even when I lost you. Now we’ll be together forever, my joy, we’ll never part from this day... – Isolda gently whispered.
Something treacherously pinched my eyes and I began to pick pebbles on the shore in order not to show that I was crying. But Stella was not the kind of person to be fooled that easily, and besides she also was on the verge of tears.
– How sad is all this, right? She does not live here... Doesn’t she understand? Do you think she will stay with him? – The girl fidgeted. She wanted so much to know everything.
Dozens of questions for these two recklessly happy people, who saw nothing around, swarmed in my head. But I knew with absolute certainty that I could not ask anything, being unable to disturb their unexpected and so fragile happiness...
– What shall we do? – Anxious Stella asked. – Shall we leave her here?
– I think it’s not we who should decide. This is her decision and her life. – Then I addressed Isolda. – I am awfully sorry, Isolda, but we would like to go. Can we help you in anything else?
– Oh, my dear girls! I totally forgot! Please, forgive me! – She clapped her hands, blushing. – Tristanushka it’s they who we should thank! They brought me to you. I came before, as soon as I found you, but you could not hear me... That was so hard, now they have brought so much happiness!
Tristan suddenly bowed very low:
– I thank you, good maidens... for returning my happiness, my Ldinushka. I wish you joy and good, celestial ones... I am in your debt forever... You only have to say.
His eyes began to glitter suspiciously and I understood that a little bit more and he would cry. Therefore, in order for him keep his masculine pride (once hurt so severely!), I turned to Isolda and said as tenderly as possible:
– I understand that you want to stay?
She sadly nodded.
– Then, look attentively at this. I hope it’ll help you to be here and make life a bit easier. – I showed her my "special" green protection, hoping that they would be more or less safe here with it. – And one more thing. You’ve, probably, understood that here you could create your "sunny world". I think he (I pointed at Tristan) would like it very much.
It was absolutely clear that Isolda did not even think about it and now she began to shine with happiness, obviously anticipating what a "staggering" surprise she would give to Tristan...
Everything around them began to sparkle with merry colours; the sea began to shine with rainbows, and we understood that everything would be all right with them and "slid" back into our beloved mental world to discuss our possible future trips...